Posts Tagged ‘adjustment’

I’ve been watching a lot of Eddie Izzard stand-up shows lately, and he goes “so… yeah” a lot.

So… yeah.

I shut down one business, I started a new one, it’s been all systems go – there is SO MUCH TO DO!

I have many, many lists. Lists work for me. Also, I am fortunate and blessed with a bunch of wonderful, strong, enthusiastic and supportive friends and colleagues (and often the friend and colleague are one and the same person).

Nevertheless. Overwhelm has been gripping me.

So towards the end of last week, my strategy to deal with overwhelm was this: go on strike, and watch lots of Eddie Izzard standup comedy (and also Dylan Moran). In a fascinating turn of events, those were the times when calls came out of the blue, people offered me work, and things fell into place – well, to some degree anyway.

Hmmmm. Interesting.

And then yesterday I went to the regular get-together of my Feng Shui group. I call it that for ease and clarity, but really it is a Homesouls group, based on the book The Secret of Home: Homesouls Guide to Abundant Living by Lindsay Halton. Homesouls is a form of Feng Shui, but modern, pared down and beautifully simple: the main tenet is that just like your physical body reflects your emotional, mental and spiritual states, by extension your physical space and environment reflect your subtle states and the patterns being played out in your life. By adjusting your space and focusing on an area in a different way, you bring subtle changes to your life.

Your living or working space (for me, they are the same) is divided into 9 sectors and they each correspond to an area of your life as well as a time of year. As we cycle through the seasons we enter and exit each dominant energy in turn. At the moment, we are in wind. Wind is matched by the colour orange, and is to do with drive, change, planning, opportunities, alchemy and growth.

On a separate but relevant note, my friend Jess quoted this recent tweet by Robin Sharma: ”@_robin_sharma: There’s a stratospheric difference between learning a new idea–and living a new idea.” That’s exactly how I feel at the moment. There is change going on, and I know it is going on, and I can sense it happening around me, but I don’t feel like I am living it, embodying it… yet. Things are out of focus. I’m feeling fuzzy, out of sorts – everything isn’t wrong, but it’s not quite right either.

Even my clothes don’t work for me, I either don’t like them any more or somehow they don’t fit and feel right any longer, but I don’t know what I want instead. It’s like I don’t know exactly who I am. And for an organised tidy freak like me, who knows where everything is, and who usually feels in flow and like life is unfolding gracefully… it’s somewhat distressing.

(#middleclassnightmares. I know.)

I don’t feel in sync with my life.

And I don’t know how to get there. I can but wait. The process is painfully slow. (Patience is not my strong point.)

Anyhoo.

So I was at my Feng Shui meeting yesterday and we discussed wind and I had a good ol’ moan about all of the above. And then we did rune readings. Sheila picked a Celtic rune for me, and then I picked a Homesouls rune, and the readings are echoes of each other.

This is the Celtic one:

“A counsel against expecting too much, or expecting in the ordinary way, for the old way has come to an end: you simply cannot repeat the old and not suffer. Reversed, this Rune (it was upside down, i.e. reversed) puts you on notice to call in your scattered energies and concentrate on your own life at this moment, your own requirements for growth. More important, Perth (the name of the rune) counsels you not to focus on outcomes, not to bind yourself with the memory of past achievements; in so doing, you rob yourself of a true present, which is the only time in which self-change can be realized.

You may feel overwhelmed with exhaustion from meeting obstruction upon obstruction in your passage. Yet you always have a choice: you can see all this apparent negativity as ‘bad luck’ or you can recognize it as an obstacle course, a challenge specific to the initiation you are presently undergoing. Then each setback, each humiliation, becomes a test of character. When your inner being is shifting and reforming on a deep level, patience, constancy and perseverance are called for. So stay centred, see the humour, and carry on regardless.”

This is the Homesouls one:

“At this time you must see your current situation as transient, a time to pause and wonder at what is going on in your life. Look inward, question what is real and refine your way of seeing and your way of being. 

The situation you are in at the moment cannot be controlled by your will. Trying to take control or to have things your way simply aggravates the situation. Try to step back from the situation to see the bigger picture.

What will it take for you to surrender to the situation?

Don’t dwell on what you do and what you achieve. Follow the calling of your Soul, and return to the cradle of your innocence to refine the expression of your nature in small ways. Feel your Soul calling and choose a better way to live through your experience. 

Be gentle, adaptable and ready to do what must be done with honour and dignity.”

I am leaning into the winds of change.

I am letting things work themselves out, taking the pressure off (everything), allowing (everything).

Keep you posted.

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