Archive for November, 2009

Well, it was Thanksgiving yesterday, and the world and his wife blogged about giving thanks, and gratitude, and so did I, and I did my three to five things to be grateful for on Wednesday evening and I have been feeling quite glowy (as in: “got a warm happy glow inside” kind of glowy)… until this morning.

Not that I stopped feeling glowy, but I went into “huh?” mode and then started pondering, and it’s lasted all day. This is what started me pondering: the Abraham-Hicks daily Law of Attraction Quotation which dropped into my inbox just before I cycled off into the rain. It said:

“When you feel gratitude, often you are looking at a difficulty that you have overcome, but there is still some of that “struggle” vibration present. The state of appreciation is seeing whatever you are looking at through the eyes of Source. . . You could walk down a crowded street with all kinds of things that a lot of other people would find reason to criticize or worry about, and you would not have access to them because your vibration of appreciation is picking out for you things of a different vibrational nature.”
— Abraham, excerpted from the book “Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness” #271

So there I was, cycling along, thinking hard. And I get what this says: if you’re thankful for what’s not, you’re still focussing on that (what’s not) – and remember that ultimately you attract more of what you focus on; but if you love and revel in everything that is, then you’re aligned with the universe, and ease, and joy.

So how do you make sure you do one and not the other? I don’t know yet. I think I tend to focus on what is anyway; maybe I’m just lucky. I’ll keep pondering it. How about you? Which one do you find yourself concentrating on, and do you have a secret recipe to switch your focus? Please share; I would like to know.

In the meantime, I’ll carry on glowing.

Tomorrow’s the 4th Thursday in November, which means it is Thanksgiving Day in the US and Canada.

Studies of all kinds have shown beyond the shadow of a doubt that being grateful contributes to leading a happy, healthy, fulfilled life. Often though we forget to notice how cool and wonderful the world is that we live in, we take it for granted and think everything’s completely normal, and by doing that we allow a little bit of its magic to disappear. This video made me smile and also hit the spot (I don’t know how to embed it here -yet!- but here’s the link to watch it): it’s a short extract of a TV interview of American comedian Louis CK, about how “everything’s amazing right now, and nobody’s happy”. Do watch it – it’s only just over 4 minutes, and it is funny and very true; he talks a lot about how much easier our life is thanks to technology and how we get really frustrated when it fails (even a bit).

Now I’m not saying that we should all have abysmally low expectations so that everything that happens in our life is a beautiful miracle. That would just be too depressing! Instead it’s about having a sense of perspective. When we get stressed and gripe about technology, people, the weather, whatever,… that’s a good time to stop and count our blessings.

Corny huh?

Not that much, really. You focus on the negatives, and you attract/notice more of what you focus on. The more grumpy you get, and the more you notice other things that make you even more grumpy. It becomes self-perpetuating until you remember to snap out of it, find something to smile about, and deliberately and consciously turn your outlook around. Because, c’mon, everything is amazing when you think about it!

So how do you start a gratitude habit?

You could have a reminder in a place where you often get stressed (a post-it to “be grateful” on your steering-wheel or on your laptop?). You could keep a gratitude journal – at the end of each day, find three (or one, or four, whatever works for you) things to be grateful for. There is even an iPhone app to help you do this. (I don’t have an iPhone; the app looks cute though. And it’s got a sister app to do a vision board! Now that’s cool .)

Mine for today are:
- my friend Dave helped me get the bottom bracket changed on my bike this afternoon (it’s been a long-standing issue that’s just been getting worse and worse, I’m so glad it’s sorted now!). It’s nice to be able to rely on friends for help, who’ll give up some of their time and expertise, just ’cause it’s you, no strings attached. Cheers, guys.
- the people who I am buying a present for my mum from (I can’t say what it is in case she’s reading this! Shhh!) are really friendly and responsive and it’s a pleasure dealing with them. (Fantastic customer service: everyone should do it all the time. They don’t, so I am particularly pleased when people do. I hope I would still be grateful if everyone did do it all the time!)
- my cat came to greet me when I got home and just now she jumped up on the desk just to rub her forehead on my chin, then wandered off again. I know she does this pretty much every day. Still, it never ceases to delight me.

And it you want to kickstart yourself into a gratitude state of mind, spend an hour writing your acknowledgements page for the book you will one day publish, for the CD cover you will one day release, or your acceptance speech for the Oscar you will one day receive. (Remember to thank your mum, your dad, your agents, everyone who helped you, and even cry a bit. :-p) It’s not my idea, it’s Gretchen Rubin’s – author of The Happiness Project. Check it out, she’s really inspirational. And we’ll be using her Happiness Project Toolbox to start off the very first Cardiff Happiness Group next week! Email me to get involved.

I’m not going to write my book acknowledgements quite yet. Right now, it’s bath (oh yes, I’m grateful that the boiler is fixed after 5 days with no heat last week, thank goodness for electric showers!), and bed (gratitude for… a bed being a bed. Hmmm. Comfy.) The cat’s turned up again with her cottonwool brain and heart-shaped patch on her nose.

What’s not to be grateful for? Happy Thanksgiving – wherever you are, whatever the date.

This is just so great I had to share it with you! Ok, so desk lamps don’t usually come with 18ft long cables. Never mind the practicalities. Isn’t this just so out-of-the-box-awesome?

The whole article is here at the Lifehacker website: Creatively Display Your Cables When Hiding’s Not an Option – cords – Lifehacker.

Photo by alicepopkorn

In the run-up to Christmas we get busy buying presents for everyone and stockpiling food and overspending and preparing for hosting the family get-together or travelling to one (or even many, just in the space of 2 days!)  and sometimes spending time with family members we only see once a year and don’t have that much in common with. It’s a time of family reunions and charades and sprouts and grannies nodding off on the sofa, but it can also be stressful and fraught with tensions and unspoken resentments (because we don’t want to cause a scene and ruin Christmas for everyone now, do we?). There’s so much going on that we can forget to look after ourselves and BREATHE.

Doesn’t sound like the Christmas you’ll be having? Good for you – and I mean that. You’re chosing an experience that will enhance your life rather than raise stress levels. Enjoy! (And I know you will ).

If the above sounds familiar though… here’s the preemptive workshop for you. Two and a half weeks before Christmas, after a quick roundup of all the things you’ve got to look forward to, and a moan about all the things you’re *not* looking forward to this Christmas, we’ll tackle how to deal with them in a way that ensures you remember to look after yourself, take time out, stay sane and yes, remain nice to everyone! You’ll take away actionable strategies which mean that you can just focus on the things you’ve got to look forward to. Imagine a stress-free Christmas… Sainsburys’ magazine would have us believe that the secret is in their ready-made Christmas shopping lists – I think not! It is in remembering to be kind to yourself. And together we’ll work out how.

When? Sunday 6th December, 2pm-5pm.
Where? Space@41 in Pontcanna, Cardiff CF11 9HG.
Cost: £30.

It’s a lovely venue but the room isn’t huge so numbers are limited – do book ahead to secure a place, especially as you can book more than one workshop and save! (Check out the whole selection here.)

For more info, to book, or anything else, ring me on 07877 038 084 or getintouch@beamazingtoday.co.uk.

I’m excited to announce a whole new offering of afternoon and day workshops for 2010. Here’s the whole list for the year for easy reference – I will also be annoucing them a few weeks before they come up, with full details of where and when and how to book, although you can express your interest already!

What qualifies me for the job? Well, I have been working at consciously creating and fine tuning my reality for about 7 years now; as a result, I’m a pretty happy person! I’ve also been working with people since 2004, exploring the choices that we make consciously as well as on a subconscious level, what makes us tick, and what creates happiness. I love facilitating events where people come together and play with ideas and possibilities and have ‘a-ha!’ moments.

So, here they are (I feel like I should be saying something like “for your viewing pleasure!”):

amazinghappiness series of workshops

These workshops are held on Sunday afternoons, from 2pm-5pm, at Space@41 in Pontcanna, Cardiff. It’s a lovely venue but the room isn’t huge so numbers are limited to 12 for each workshop. Do book ahead to secure a place, especially as you can book more than one workshop and save! Individually, each workshop costs £30 but you can pic’n'mix any 5 and pay £25 each, or book all 10 and pay £20 each. This is payable on booking, otherwise who knows, you might turn your life around after the first workshop and disappear into the sunset… No seriously, it helps me to plan ahead and know that I have numbers definitely attending, so making them cheaper encourages people to do that – and also it shows my appreciation.

6th December 2009 . Being kind to yourself

This is a festive season special! Tools and techniques to deal with stress in the run up to Christmas, remain sane and amiable during the festivities, and come out the other side without a post-holiday run-down cold.

24th January 2010. Owning yourself: recognising your needs, maintaining boundaries

Does exactly what it says on the tin. This workshop could also be called: learn how to say NO (for people who always say yes). [Note: if you're a person who tends to say no already, then the June workshop may be of interest to you...]

21st February 2010 . Healing the past, living the present

Learn to recognise what filters affect your perception of everyday events – and incidentally how they vary from person to person; where they come from and how they were useful in the past; why they no longer serve you and how to let go of them in order to live in the present moment with joy!

Hmmm… This leads us on conveniently to:

21st March 2010. Consciously choosing joy

Well, do you? It’s easy to get grumpy and stay grumpy. Or resentful. Or sad. Once you’re in a negative state it’s self-perpetuating and you forget that YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. You can choose grumpiness or you can choose joy. In this workshop you will find out how to remind yourself – and also how to remind yourself to remind yourself. Yuh-huh.

25th April 2010. Exploring what you want more of in your life

It’s all very well having the slightly unsettled feeling that all is not quite fine and dandy in our life, we’re not living 100% in joy every day – maybe only 98% – and that there’s something not quite right. It doesn’t have to be something big – actually it often isn’t something big, and it’s easy to ignore and keep going regardless. This workshop is a good chance to take a few hours out of “normality” and take a careful look at what it is we think is missing. Because if we don’t know what’s missing, how do we stand a chance of finding it? (When you leave you will know where to start looking!)

23rd May 2010. Achieving serenity in your home and personal space

Your physical body is a reflection of your energetic body and your mental and emotional states. (If at this point you’re thinking “whoaaaaa – hold on, that’s a big concept to take on without question” – just leave it on a metaphorical shelf right now, there will be a talk at some point about the research that has been going on around the mind-body link and how your thoughts and emotions affect your health.) In the same way, your home and the space you live in daily reflect the patterns that are prevalent in your life. Find out how to tweak one to create balance and serenity in the other. (This works both ways.)

27th June 2010. Nourishing your soul, having fun

How much fun do you have on a daily basis? How about weekly, or monthly? Do you think of yourself as creative? Whether you do or not, what inspires you? Come and explore and play. Yes, creativity is involved. No, it’s not a bad word. And it’s not scary either, not the way we do it! I promise. (And you can hold me to that.)

25th July 2010. Connecting from the heart: family, relationships

Hmmm, other people. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them, or so the saying goes. Actually, it’s a lot easier to live with others when 1) you remember to connect to your own needs and desires 2) you connect with other people’s needs and desires – that is, beyond the surface of words. This is an introduction to how – I’m not going to pretend you’ll have it all sussed when you leave, because although the principles are dead easy and you’ll definitely get them in a jiffy, applying them is a daily practice. Still, it’s a great first step.

22nd August 2010. Deliberately creating your ideal job

Before you say – no we’re not going to work out how to become an astronaut, unless of course it really is your heart’s desire. I know you’re only being facetious, but listen: it’s not about the title. This isn’t your high school’s careers advisory service. It’s about how you want to feel – do you want to go to work with a spring in your step? Do you want to wake up and look forward to the day – even on a week day? Do you want to bounce in with a sense of purpose? There you go then. That’s what we’re really going to work on.

26th September 2010. Achieving health and vitality

You know how earlier I said your physical body reflects your mental and emotional states? [If you're still thinking whoaaaa... - put it on a metaphorical shelf again. Trust me on this one - that concept has been working for me for years (oh and I'm not the only one). There's got to be something in it. I will get round to explaining it at some point.] Anyway… How you think, how you feel, how you perceive yourself, has an impact on how you feel physically. You can think yourself into balance, health and vitality. Suspend disbelief for 3 hours and come and find out how – you might still not believe me by the time you leave, but at least you would have given yourself the chance.  And if you do – it will be spectacular. Really.

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One-off seasonal workshops

There are a couple of day workshops which will run on Saturdays, 10am-4pm. They will also take place at Space@41 (in fact most of my stuff is going to take place there, until further notice.)

6th February 2010. Conscious stress busting
The last Monday of January is officially the most depressing day of the year. Apparently, it’s calculated according to how many days since the holidays, since you broke all your New Year’s resolutions, and until your next holiday, plus with miserable weather and a couple of other variables thrown in for good measure (like how skint you are after Christmas). You can tell how much I believe in it, can’t you? Nevertheless, this time of year is often more difficult to work through than, say, August when you can go and run barefoot in the grass. The perfect time then, to come and explore and take away tools and techniques for times of stress: how to remember to stop, connect with yourself, be aware of your needs, and meet them before it gets too bad. Equip yourself with the right mental attitude, and it won’t matter that it’s raining again. Spring is only around the corner… (breathe in) … and exhale.

Cost: £45 / early bird rate £40 (pay by 8^th January 2010).

6th March 2010. Chakra vitality

A workshop for women at the start of Spring. Discover each of your bodymind’s energetic centres in the Ayurvedic tradition, explore the thoughts and emotions that are associated with them, and nourish and balance your energies ready to step into the new season.

Cost: £45 / early bird rate £40 (pay by 6^th February 2010).
Bring a friend and pay £60 (£30 each)!

Tips for life

My “tips for life” workshops are quarterly sessions of strategies and easy to apply techniques to make your life easier, more relaxed and happier. By freeing up mental space, you worry less and save time – as well as have more fun in the process (and that’s never a bad thing)! Themes for 2010 are:

27th March 2010. Time management

19th June 2010. Dealing with clutter

11th September 2010. Coping with change

4th December 2010. Making decisions

If you’ve got a particular issue you want to see covered – let me know. I may be able to integrate it into one of the above, or I might even do a special just for you! These sessions run on Saturday afternoons at Space@41, from 2 to 4pm. Cost: £25 / book all 4 @ £20 each. Like I said before, numbers are limited to 12. Go on… Let organisation become part of your life. You know it makes sense!

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To find out even more and to book: email me or ring me on 07877 038 084.

Have you ever met someone famous? Actually, more to the point, have you ever met someone famous who you really like and admire? The Barefoot Doctor was at the Natural Health Show (he was scheduled to do a workshop). I love his books and have read/own/have bought for others/etc several of his books over the years. As he wandered around the stands and past the one I was sharing with Emma, I gasped and went “You’re the Barefoot Doctor!”, and so he said that yes, he was, and shook my hand, and… I gave him the limpest handshake I’ve ever given anyone. Ever.

Not only that, but then I was so star struck that I was completely at a loss for anything to say and just stood there grinning like a fool until he got tired of waiting for me to come up with a piece of brilliant sparkling wit and wandered off.

What a dweeb.

(Me, not him. Obviously.)

It’s been a busy few weeks with the buildup to the Natural Health Show on 31st October / 1st November and after that a few days of walking around a bit like a zombie (appropriate for Halloween!) and taking stock of the events and contacts established at the Show, and then Caroline’s readings at my place on Saturday just gone!

It was a very successful event – I feel everyone benefitted hugely and it’s definitely something I would like to do more of. Don’t get confused by the term “clairvoyant readings” – they are not like anything you would have experienced before. Caroline goes into a trance and sees your energy in various colours, explains what each colour is and what patterns and programs are running through your life. Similar to the work I do in terms of picking out programs and patterns, but with a completely different – very visual – approach. So technically, “clairvoyant” is exactly what they are – but really nothing to do with the usual mental image I bet sprang up in your mind! No crystal ball, tarot cards, rainbow headscarf and big golden gypsy earrings on a crone predicting you’re going to meet a tall, dark and handsome stranger! Caroline doesn’t read your future because you are creating it moment to moment and it is constantly changing. Instead, she “shows” you, by sharing what she sees, the energies and patterns that run through your aura/subconscious/life – once she has brought them to your attention you can’t pretend (subconsciously!) that they’re not there and they already start changing. Having a reading (or life path consultation as Caroline describes them) is literally life changing – the depth of work that is achieved in as little as 20 or 30 minutes is staggering! It really has to be experienced.

I’m so pleased that several people came to take part in this event which I thoroughly enjoyed hosting, and which is a first in Cardiff in so many ways! While Caroline and I like to think we are offering ground-breaking events that haven’t been available so far in South Wales, the real credit goes to you lovely people who jumped in and dared, and came along to partake of the experience. Many thanks to all of you – you know who you are!

As well as having planned a bunch of workshops around various aspects of happiness for the end of 2009 and throughout 2010 (my next blog post due in a couple of days has all the details – watch this space!), I also want to start the very first (as far as I know) Cardiff happiness group – this is so exciting!! – so read on…

The group will be made up of a maximum of 10 people who make a firm commitment to come together once a month – it will be a closed group once we have the core members (I’m hoping by the first meeting!), which means we will get to know and trust the people we meet with regularly and work with at transforming our own lives.

Mini manifesto: We will share, play and grow by exploring tools and techniques based on the happiness toolbox developed by Gretchen Rubin (writer and author of The Happiness Project). We will aim to increase happiness in every area of our lives by supporting each other and sharing experiences and learnings.

In order to start the ball rolling as soon as possible, the first group meeting will be on Monday 30th November 2009 (7-9pm). After a slight hiatus for the festive season, we will reconvene on Monday 11th January 2010, and then meet monthly on a Monday evening (usually the 2nd Monday of the month).

The group will take place at Space@41 in Pontcanna, and cost £10 per meeting (payable on the day).

To find out more, register your interest or join the group, do get in touch by email or by phone on 07877 038 084. Look forward to meeting you!